Stress eating and other problems

I just finished stress-eating some trail mix. The reason I am saying it's stress eating is because I ate right out of the container, continuously, while looking at my computer and being annoyed that I had to reboot it because of an email failure. Never mind portion control. Every time I reboot it I'm told I have some sort of Java error...and I try to ignore that warning because EVENTUALLY it's going to update itself, like right now. Yes, this is my work computer (not the one I am typing on now). I am working at 10:45 p.m...just checking in, really. I was going to try to get ahold of a guy in Australia, but I'm actually somewhat grouchy. Stressed.



I am tired of having my kids home all day when I am trying to work. I can't wait until the other 2/3 who did not start last week go to school on Wednesday. The day after tomorrow. Their schedules might be all messed up due to the migration of their student data from one platform to another, which apparently takes the school six weeks of downtime and it's still not accessible or correct (given that one of my kids doesn't have Spanish listed anywhere on his schedule). I am tired of thinking about that because I work for a technology company and that kind of horror show just doesn't happen in the business world. I am tired of listening to them complain about their summer reading, which they waited until the last week of summer to do, and one of them has assignments. I am tired of their dishes in the sink.

I got all my steps in today, and burned all the calories I was supposed to, but probably negated that effort with my late-night trail mix gluttony.

The thing I really wanted to write about was the coffee. I was on a slippery slope. The other day I was shopping with one of my kids and we had to special order some enormous shoes for him. I decided after that to go home on a route where I'd pass the cheapest gas station I know (I only needed half a tank, but it kind of made up for spending $.30 more per gallon a few days prior) and BJ's (where they have huge bags of organic frozen fruit).

The gas station is next to Dunkin' Donuts. My son asked me if we could go. I said, "I don't want anything at Dunks; what do you want?"

"Forget it, never mind."

"Seriously, hon. What do you want?"

"Nothing."

"Okay, do you want to get something at Cumby's? I have these rewards..."

"No."

"Okay, fine."

So, I proceeded to fill my car the rest of the way up with gas and when I was done and about to pull away, my son said, "Can I get something in Cumby's."

I said, "Of course!"

"Can you come in with me."

He wound up getting a giant iced coffee, with flavorings, and real cream. I gawked. When we went to BJ's, I made sure I parked in the shade because he didn't want to bring the coffee in and I didn't want it to be all watered down when we left. I watched as he drank it on the way home, imagining how delicious it was. He didn't finish it.

"You're not going to throw that out, are you?"

"No, I'll save it."

And it sat in the fridge -- where I had to look at it every time I opened the door -- for a day until the next afternoon. Then I had to look at it on the coffee table while he lounged around on the couch. (And finally, I had to recycle the empty cup, because apparently I am the only one that can handle dishes and trash or the sink or the dishwasher in this house.)

This morning I made my husband a cup of coffee. I could smell it and thought about how nice it would be first thing on a Monday morning at 6:00 a.m. before it got too August-y outside to have a nice big cup of hot coffee.

I didn't.

But I could have.

One cup isn't going to kill me.

But one cup is how it all starts.

And before I know it, I'll be justifying eating candy or cookies or something like that.

The vicious cycle would begin again.

(I already feel like I blew it with the trail mix. It's organic anyway, but I just looked closely at the ingredients and one of the dried fruits (cranberries) has sugar added. Ughhhhhhhhhhhh! Hopefully the protein and fiber offset that a little.)

I imported the stories from another blog into this blog. I am not sure I want to write in that blog anymore because the name of it is Coffee Talk! I have a big job ahead of me to fix all the categories and tags in this blog (and I still don't have a name for it.) I was planning to keep things separate by topic but that is about as complicated as having two Instagram accounts (seems unnecessarily complex).

I have to stop thinking about that -- I have a seemingly impossible amount of work to before EOD Wednesday.

Tomorrow is a new day -- a new start.