Vacation week, part two

My oldest has school vacation week this week; my younger two had theirs last week. My oldest goes to a school out of state (which is why he has a different vacation week), just over the line so it’s only a half an hour drive.

Only.

This daily drive, to and from, sometimes more than twice if a sport or activity is scheduled sometime or somewhere other than right after or right at school, has been about enough to put me over the edge some days. It is not easy trying to figure out how to keep doing everything that you need (or might want) to do on a regular basis with two or three fewer hours in the day. Obviously I can’t do everything.

What do I give up? Some days it’s sleep, some days writing, some days exercise, and most days time spent with my other two in the morning unless my husband drives Oldest to school. Our family breakfasts rarely happen anymore. Good thing our kitchen table is the nucleus of our house so we all spend significant time there whether we're eating or not. (I am using it as my office this week since it’s only 50-something degrees in my real office.)

So far this week I have (mostly) enjoyed the extra time with my younger two in the morning and after school. My middle son, though he does come home from school and go in his room and close the door (as one of my good friends predicted when the older two were toddlers and I was lamenting the fact that I never had any privacy and she suggested I enjoy it now because one day…), has been a good deal more social than usual. (I wonder if that is because he spent last week with his dad and he missed us?) It also seems that the dynamic has changed enough with him being the oldest kid in the house that he is more responsible. I saw him swallow his complaint when I asked him to unload the dishwasher. I caught him emptying the trash yesterday (I had not asked him to do that.) I left a chocolate on his pillow when I noticed how neatly he had made his bed.

I’ve walked on the treadmill every day, too, and I’m writing (obviously).

Still, I miss the routine I’d established with my oldest. I’m not listening to the podcasts I usually do on the way home after dropping him off, and sometimes when we’re together if we’re not talking about his vocabulary words or civics class. Yesterday I didn’t leave the house at all; neither of the younger two had sports or any activities. Cat misses Oldest, too. She came prowling around the upstairs last night. (She usually sleeps with Oldest in his downstairs bedroom.) I am not sure how much Oldest’s brothers miss him (or would admit to missing him anyway): sometimes three is a crowd.

Middle son told me his friends reported that Oldest had been on Xbox Live all afternoon. We don’t have Xbox live and if we did, we wouldn’t have the kind of games that Oldest was playing with Middle’s friends (because I am not fun or cool). This is only good to know only because Oldest hasn’t answered either of my texts, so at least I know he's alive. I typically don’t “interrupt” my kids when they’re with Dad but I know Dad doesn’t have the week off so it’s likely Oldest is just hanging around by himself much of the time.

I wonder if he’d appreciate it if I called him at 6:45 a.m. so we could talk about vocabulary words or current events?

Vacation week, part two

My oldest has school vacation week this week; my younger two had theirs last week. My oldest goes to a school out of state (which is why he has a different vacation week), just over the line so it’s only a half an hour drive.

Only.

This daily drive, to and from, sometimes more than twice if a sport or activity is scheduled sometime or somewhere other than right after or right at school, has been about enough to put me over the edge some days. It is not easy trying to figure out how to keep doing everything that you need (or might want) to do on a regular basis with two or three fewer hours in the day. Obviously I can’t do everything.

What do I give up? Some days it’s sleep, some days writing, some days exercise, and most days time spent with my other two in the morning unless my husband drives Oldest to school. Our family breakfasts rarely happen anymore. Good thing our kitchen table is the nucleus of our house so we all spend significant time there whether we're eating or not. (I am using it as my office this week since it’s only 50-something degrees in my real office.)

So far this week I have (mostly) enjoyed the extra time with my younger two in the morning and after school. My middle son, though he does come home from school and go in his room and close the door (as one of my good friends predicted when the older two were toddlers and I was lamenting the fact that I never had any privacy and she suggested I enjoy it now because one day…), has been a good deal more social than usual. (I wonder if that is because he spent last week with his dad and he missed us?) It also seems that the dynamic has changed enough with him being the oldest kid in the house that he is more responsible. I saw him swallow his complaint when I asked him to unload the dishwasher. I caught him emptying the trash yesterday (I had not asked him to do that.) I left a chocolate on his pillow when I noticed how neatly he had made his bed.

I’ve walked on the treadmill every day, too, and I’m writing (obviously).

Still, I miss the routine I’d established with my oldest. I’m not listening to the podcasts I usually do on the way home after dropping him off, and sometimes when we’re together if we’re not talking about his vocabulary words or civics class. Yesterday I didn’t leave the house at all; neither of the younger two had sports or any activities. Cat misses Oldest, too. She came prowling around the upstairs last night. (She usually sleeps with Oldest in his downstairs bedroom.) I am not sure how much Oldest’s brothers miss him (or would admit to missing him anyway): sometimes three is a crowd.

Middle son told me his friends reported that Oldest had been on Xbox Live all afternoon. We don’t have Xbox live and if we did, we wouldn’t have the kind of games that Oldest was playing with Middle’s friends (because I am not fun or cool). This is only good to know only because Oldest hasn’t answered either of my texts, so at least I know he's alive. I typically don’t “interrupt” my kids when they’re with Dad but I know Dad doesn’t have the week off so it’s likely Oldest is just hanging around by himself much of the time.

I wonder if he’d appreciate it if I called him at 6:45 a.m. so we could talk about vocabulary words or current events?

A car story

The car on the top is the super-cool rental car that I had for 10 days while my "clown SUV" (it's like a clown car compared to the larger SUV I used to drive before I had to make up to three trips a day to my son's high school) was being repaired. It had been vandalized the day after Christmas -- at the same hockey tournament where we ran across Potty-mouthed Hockey Mom. Someone tried to pry the antenna off the roof and gouged and dented the roof, as well as lifted up the antenna fixture, creating a space where water could leak in. Plus the actual antenna part was gone. That meant we couldn't listen to the radio either.

I know it was that day that it happened, because Christmas Eve on the way to church we were listening to Christmas music, Christmas Day I did not drive anywhere, and the next day I used the car was to go to the hockey tournament and then up to the mall (to buy the giant ornaments I really wanted for the trees in the yard, but for which I wasn't willing to pay full price), when I figured I'd check our favorite Christmas music station to see if they had abruptly switched off Christmas. Well, that station wouldn't even tune in. I couldn't imagine what the heck was wrong. It took me a while to figure it out and piece it all together, doing internet research and observation of other Honda CR-Vs. I explained all this to the insurance claims adjuster. I decided I'd pony up the deductible and get this fixed because I want to take good care of the bank's car.

Super-cool rental car is a summer car, not a snow-record-setting winter car. It has rear-wheel drive which only served to foster my newfound appreciation for my all-wheel drive clown SUV (and the SUV I had before, and the sporty station wagon I had prior to that). I drove this car like the stereotypical little old lady (no offense to little old ladies)...very deliberately (but not necessarily slowly because all of a sudden I realized I was doing 80 several times on the highway). I had a horrible time with our very long and curvy bobsled run driveway, which was so full of snow I couldn't turn around and had to back all the way out. Twice I got stuck. The second time I called my husband to complain and drop a few swear words...texting them is just not the same as spitting them out vehemently and cursing the weather, the season, the driveway, the cold, and wondering why the heck we live in a climate that is so unpleasant (and no, I am not one of those people who wishes for winter in summer, so I probably would be a very good candidate to move to a southern state with ample coastline). I was on the verge of exchanging this car for something more realistic when our plow guy came down the street with a front-end loader. I thought I could tough it out for a few more days. I only got stuck in the driveway one more time after that.

I got the call from the auto body place that my car was ready just as we got hit with yet another snow storm. This time it was only five inches or so. I really don't know...if it's not at least a foot, who's counting anymore...suffice it to say it was a plowable event. But even if our plow guy hadn't come, I would have been fine with the clown SUV, which had been freshly detailed (Note to self: write a good review on Yelp about this operation.)

I imagine my kids don't think I am so cool any more, but I also know it is not my job to be cool.

A car story

The car on the top is the super-cool rental car that I had for 10 days while my "clown SUV" (it's like a clown car compared to the larger SUV I used to drive before I had to make up to three trips a day to my son's high school) was being repaired. It had been vandalized the day after Christmas -- at the same hockey tournament where we ran across Potty-mouthed Hockey Mom. Someone tried to pry the antenna off the roof and gouged and dented the roof, as well as lifted up the antenna fixture, creating a space where water could leak in. Plus the actual antenna part was gone. That meant we couldn't listen to the radio either.

I know it was that day that it happened, because Christmas Eve on the way to church we were listening to Christmas music, Christmas Day I did not drive anywhere, and the next day I used the car was to go to the hockey tournament and then up to the mall (to buy the giant ornaments I really wanted for the trees in the yard, but for which I wasn't willing to pay full price), when I figured I'd check our favorite Christmas music station to see if they had abruptly switched off Christmas. Well, that station wouldn't even tune in. I couldn't imagine what the heck was wrong. It took me a while to figure it out and piece it all together, doing internet research and observation of other Honda CR-Vs. I explained all this to the insurance claims adjuster. I decided I'd pony up the deductible and get this fixed because I want to take good care of the bank's car.

Super-cool rental car is a summer car, not a snow-record-setting winter car. It has rear-wheel drive which only served to foster my newfound appreciation for my all-wheel drive clown SUV (and the SUV I had before, and the sporty station wagon I had prior to that). I drove this car like the stereotypical little old lady (no offense to little old ladies)...very deliberately (but not necessarily slowly because all of a sudden I realized I was doing 80 several times on the highway). I had a horrible time with our very long and curvy bobsled run driveway, which was so full of snow I couldn't turn around and had to back all the way out. Twice I got stuck. The second time I called my husband to complain and drop a few swear words...texting them is just not the same as spitting them out vehemently and cursing the weather, the season, the driveway, the cold, and wondering why the heck we live in a climate that is so unpleasant (and no, I am not one of those people who wishes for winter in summer, so I probably would be a very good candidate to move to a southern state with ample coastline). I was on the verge of exchanging this car for something more realistic when our plow guy came down the street with a front-end loader. I thought I could tough it out for a few more days. I only got stuck in the driveway one more time after that.

I got the call from the auto body place that my car was ready just as we got hit with yet another snow storm. This time it was only five inches or so. I really don't know...if it's not at least a foot, who's counting anymore...suffice it to say it was a plowable event. But even if our plow guy hadn't come, I would have been fine with the clown SUV, which had been freshly detailed (Note to self: write a good review on Yelp about this operation.)

I imagine my kids don't think I am so cool any more, but I also know it is not my job to be cool.

Coffee love

I had pretty much already given up feeling guilty about my coffee habit...but this story was a nice read today. The US dietary guidelines advisory committee, which makes recommendations to the Food and Drug Administration and other federal agencies, released a report that points to the health benefits and minimal risks of drinking three to five cusp of coffee a day, including a reduced risk of type 2 diabetes and cardiovascular disease.

Late to the party

Mardi Gras came and went and I did nothing. I was actually so exhausted by the end of that day I had to take a nap. When I woke up it was practically bedtime. Good thing two out of the three of my boys have vacation this week and my oldest, who does not, self-managed.

That is about how I feel tonight, too. I just wanted to look at a few things for work before I call it a day. There are a couple of people in Australia I wanted to get ahold of and if I don't do it today, it will already be their weekend when I get to it tomorrow. Today I am mostly physically tired from shoveling. The other day I was psychologically tired from job overwhelm. I think I would be all the way over the edge if my youngest wasn't going to his friend's every day after baseball camp. It takes an hour and a half to drive him and his brother to camp and school (middle son declined camp and went to Dad's) in the morning and today the commute was a bit messed up because oldest had a 90-minute delay. It is no wonder I do not have time to exercise and that is the one good thing about shoveling.

We were considering decorating our family room in a luau theme, but maybe Mardi Gras would be more appropriate. It would certainly beat the towel and assorted vessel decor we're currently featuring while we wait for our friend with the ladder to come and help us get ice off the roof. He was going to come today but got hung up at another house that's going to wind up taking more than five times as long as he thought. And the bummer of it all is, we're expecting more precipitation this weekend. Rain = undesirable, snow = undesirable, rain mixed with snow = undesirable.

Any day now it sure would be nice to get my lovely four-wheel drive car back. Yep, I need to make a visit to the party store. Maybe I can do that in between basketball and hockey this weekend.

Late to the party

Mardi Gras came and went and I did nothing. I was actually so exhausted by the end of that day I had to take a nap. When I woke up it was practically bedtime. Good thing two out of the three of my boys have vacation this week and my oldest, who does not, self-managed.

That is about how I feel tonight, too. I just wanted to look at a few things for work before I call it a day. There are a couple of people in Australia I wanted to get ahold of and if I don't do it today, it will already be their weekend when I get to it tomorrow. Today I am mostly physically tired from shoveling. The other day I was psychologically tired from job overwhelm. I think I would be all the way over the edge if my youngest wasn't going to his friend's every day after baseball camp.
It takes an hour and a half to drive him and his brother to camp and school (middle son declined camp and went to Dad's) in the morning and today the commute was a bit messed up because oldest had a 90-minute delay. It is no wonder I do not have time to exercise and that is the one good thing about shoveling.

We were considering decorating our family room in a luau theme, but maybe Mardi Gras would be more appropriate. It would certainly beat the towel and assorted vessel decor we're currently featuring while we wait for our friend with the ladder to come and help us get ice off the roof. He was going to come today but got hung up at another house that's going to wind up taking more than five times as long as he thought. And the bummer of it all is, we're expecting more precipitation this weekend. Rain = undesirable, snow = undesirable, rain mixed with snow = undesirable.

Any day now it sure would be nice to get my lovely four-wheel drive car back. Yep, I need to make a visit to the party store. Maybe I can do that in between basketball and hockey this weekend.

Looking for the silver lining

I spilled super-hot water all over the counter today before I could make a cup of coffee. Yes, I was making instant coffee: I drink it for the effect at that time of the morning. It got all over the sugar bowl that I had out to make cinnamon sugar croissants; it splashed in the fruit bowl; it sprayed the cutting board that I was planning to use to cut Cat's thyroid pills into tiny-cat-sized pieces. And it got on my feet and on the floor. I was annoyed not only by the cleanup but also by the fact that I was all that cleanup's time away from having that first cup of coffee. I guess it's better to clean up water than clean up coffee, I told myself as I put a fresh cup of water in the microwave. I came across this paper towel right before my youngest and I were headed out to baseball camp.

The thought of baseball is what is helping me to remain somewhat sane during this horrible winter. I say "somewhat" because there had been some moments in the past week where I didn't think I could take another day of being snowed in: the claustrophobia that ensued after the last storm rendered our driveway no more than a bobsled run that was difficult for me to navigate backwards with the rental car I have while my own four-wheel drive clown SUV is in the shop having the vandalism (it suffered at a hockey tournament) repaired left me wishing I had Valium or similar.

Today, not long before I was supposed to get on a conference call, my office windows started leaking. Dam ice on the roof! I spent the time I had expected to prepare for the call simultaneously calling or texting people for referrals, looking up people I might call, and putting containers and dishtowels on window sills to collect water. 

It's Lent. My oldest goes to Catholic School and had mass today and got ashes, which he wore all the way up until his basketball game. He told me he doesn't know what he should give up. "Why give up anything," I asked, and a discussion ensued about how you can add something positive rather than give up something and it's still a good way to prepare for Easter. A few years ago I blogged every day for Lent, which is what I told my youngest I planned to do while we were on our way to baseball camp this morning. And here it is nearly 10:00 p.m. and it's the last thing I am going to do (since we just changed the drip catchers and dish towels on the sills. Why it's leaking now in the cold, dark of night, I can't even imagine...except for the fact that it is snowing again and maybe the new, soft, unfrozen snow is melting into the crevices that the sun melted this afternoon.)

I have heard other people lament about their ceilings leaking who say that they just repainted their whole house or that they only just realized it was dripping on their brand-new couch. So, on a positive note, none of that has happened here yet and we have a guy coming tomorrow morning to help us. I don't like wishing time away but I wish it was baseball season now.

Looking for the silver lining

I spilled super-hot water all over the counter today before I could make a cup of coffee. Yes, I was making instant coffee: I drink it for the effect at that time of the morning. It got all over the sugar bowl that I had out to make cinnamon sugar croissants; it splashed in the fruit bowl; it sprayed the cutting board that I was planning to use to cut Cat's thyroid pills into tiny-cat-sized pieces. And it got on my feet and on the floor. I was annoyed not only by the cleanup but also by the fact that I was all that cleanup's time away from having that first cup of coffee. I guess it's better to clean up water than clean up coffee, I told myself as I put a fresh cup of water in the microwave. I came across this paper towel right before my youngest and I were headed out to baseball camp.

The thought of baseball is what is helping me to remain somewhat sane during this horrible winter. I say "somewhat" because there had been some moments in the past week where I didn't think I could take another day of being snowed in: the claustrophobia that ensued after the last storm rendered our driveway no more than a bobsled run that was difficult for me to navigate backwards with the rental car I have while my own four-wheel drive clown SUV is in the shop having the vandalism (it suffered at a hockey tournament) repaired left me wishing I had Valium or similar.

Today, not long before I was supposed to get on a conference call, my office windows started leaking. Dam ice on the roof! I spent the time I had expected to prepare for the call simultaneously calling or texting people for referrals, looking up people I might call, and putting containers and dishtowels on window sills to collect water. 

It's Lent. My oldest goes to Catholic School and had mass today and got ashes, which he wore all the way up until his basketball game. He told me he doesn't know what he should give up. "Why give up anything," I asked, and a discussion ensued about how you can add something positive rather than give up something and it's still a good way to prepare for Easter. A few years ago I blogged every day for Lent, which is what I told my youngest I planned to do while we were on our way to baseball camp this morning. And here it is nearly 10:00 p.m. and it's the last thing I am going to do (since we just changed the drip catchers and dish towels on the sills. Why it's leaking now in the cold, dark of night, I can't even imagine...except for the fact that it is snowing again and maybe the new, soft, unfrozen snow is melting into the crevices that the sun melted this afternoon.)

I have heard other people lament about their ceilings leaking who say that they just repainted their whole house or that they only just realized it was dripping on their brand-new couch. So, on a positive note, none of that has happened here yet and we have a guy coming tomorrow morning to help us. I don't like wishing time away but I wish it was baseball season now.

Festive

A view from my office window a couple of storms ago

This story is a continuation of "The Gratitude Adjustment."

I have colleagues on the other side of the world who marvel at the storm pictures I post on Facebook. They don’t have snow where they live. And where they live, it seems like every other week they have a day off for some sort of festival or another. I mentioned this to my son on our way to school one morning recently. “Wouldn’t it be kind of neat to have so many celebrations?”

“Uhmmm, yeah!”

“I imagine that would be a fun kind of way to go through life: always having special occasions, feasts, and celebrations with family and friends. Having days off…”

“Yes, it would.”

Then we were silent. I thought about how it would be a good idea to celebrate, honor, and appreciate things more – not just the big things, but the little things, too. He may or may not have been thinking about festivals and celebrations. It’s possible he was thinking about his Latin midterm. And wishing for the day off.

Imagine how different life would be if instead of dreading that chorus concert because you hate singing (and everyone knows you hate singing), celebrating the fact that you participated quasi-enthusiastically despite how you felt about it. Or what if instead of complaining about school work, you appreciated the fact that you have the opportunity to get a good education? Or how about honoring your teammates who made a basketball win possible, even if you didn’t feel like you played your personal best?

Sometimes there are occasions we can’t imagine how to celebrating at the time, like a job layoff. But then it turns out if that door hadn’t slammed shut, all the subsequent doors to new opportunities and new inspiration would still be locked. Or perhaps you don’t feel like appreciating the two hours it takes to drive your son to and from school every day, but when you look at the situation with a more “festive” approach, you can revere the daily hour you get to spend with your 15-year old.

When we got hit with our first snow storm of this season on Thanksgiving, there were extra reasons beyond the holiday to celebrate: we didn’t lose power, so we could cook a meal – and watch football and movies. On the eve of yet another blizzard, I am reminded that winter is not my favorite season, but instead of marking time until Spring, I can appreciate it the best way I can, from the inside of my home or at a hockey arena. I can celebrate our garage and plow guy.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Even in the mud and scum of things, something always, always sings.”

Festive

A view from my office window a couple of storms ago

This story is a continuation of "The Gratitude Adjustment."

I have colleagues on the other side of the world who marvel at the storm pictures I post on Facebook. They don’t have snow where they live. And where they live, it seems like every other week they have a day off for some sort of festival or another. I mentioned this to my son on our way to school one morning recently. “Wouldn’t it be kind of neat to have so many celebrations?”

“Uhmmm, yeah!”

“I imagine that would be a fun kind of way to go through life: always having special occasions, feasts, and celebrations with family and friends. Having days off…”

“Yes, it would.”

Then we were silent. I thought about how it would be a good idea to celebrate, honor, and appreciate things more – not just the big things, but the little things, too. He may or may not have been thinking about festivals and celebrations. It’s possible he was thinking about his Latin midterm. And wishing for the day off.

Imagine how different life would be if instead of dreading that chorus concert because you hate singing (and everyone knows you hate singing), celebrating the fact that you participated quasi-enthusiastically despite how you felt about it. Or what if instead of complaining about school work, you appreciated the fact that you have the opportunity to get a good education? Or how about honoring your teammates who made a basketball win possible, even if you didn’t feel like you played your personal best?

Sometimes there are occasions we can’t imagine how to celebrating at the time, like a job layoff. But then it turns out if that door hadn’t slammed shut, all the subsequent doors to new opportunities and new inspiration would still be locked. Or perhaps you don’t feel like appreciating the two hours it takes to drive your son to and from school every day, but when you look at the situation with a more “festive” approach, you can revere the daily hour you get to spend with your 15-year old.

When we got hit with our first snow storm of this season on Thanksgiving, there were extra reasons beyond the holiday to celebrate: we didn’t lose power, so we could cook a meal – and watch football and movies. On the eve of yet another blizzard, I am reminded that winter is not my favorite season, but instead of marking time until Spring, I can appreciate it the best way I can, from the inside of my home or at a hockey arena. I can celebrate our garage and plow guy.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Even in the mud and scum of things, something always, always sings.”