Stress eating and other problems

I just finished stress-eating some trail mix. The reason I am saying it's stress eating is because I ate right out of the container, continuously, while looking at my computer and being annoyed that I had to reboot it because of an email failure. Never mind portion control. Every time I reboot it I'm told I have some sort of Java error...and I try to ignore that warning because EVENTUALLY it's going to update itself, like right now. Yes, this is my work computer (not the one I am typing on now). I am working at 10:45 p.m...just checking in, really. I was going to try to get ahold of a guy in Australia, but I'm actually somewhat grouchy. Stressed.

Window of inspiration

It's 6:30 a.m. so it's not as dark as it seems in the picture. We've been catapulted back into the school-year schedule, with fall sports for two kids and actual classes for one. My oldest has to leave the house at 6:20 to make the morning bus, which is at 6:50 in the next town over. Having him take the bus should save me precious time in the morning. Last year I drove him every day and it took at least an hour round trip. With the bus this year, I might save only 20 minutes (because I have to wait with him), but I'll be saving driving time and distance, and my husband should be able to take him more often (as he did today) because the bus stop is not totally out of his way (as it is mine, since I wouldn't even need to leave the house otherwise).

I don't know what it will be like next week when there are two high-schoolers vying for time in the bathroom, but we'll have to work out a schedule. I'll also have to ease them back into making their lunches, and encourage them to pack their bags the night before.

The past two days have been a slap in the face.

Here comes crazy season

This might be the last chance I have to walk here for a while: my son finished his summer hockey clinic so I won't regularly be in this area.

I had an intense day of dealing with two sick dogs and work and what felt like driving around in circles for my oldest son's school orientation and golf practice (he goes to school out of town, 30 minutes away) and my youngest's social engagement and two hockey practices. And oh by the way, my job.



I had to walk again at night to meet my step goal. It was super humid and extremely dark and ultimately it started raining, but I did it!

Why you shouldn't eat poop

This morning I was greeted by the most disgusting mess, not even 12 hours after I had cleaned up the next-most-disgusting mess.


Last night our girl dog barfed up some black vomit all over the kitchen rugs (one of which, a small welcome mat, went right into the trash). She apparently had a lot to let go after a long day of panting her horrible breath in my direction. We got this gorgeous rug to go under our kitchen table so the table and chairs wouldn't scratch the hardwood floor. It is only a year or so old. When I tossed out the welcome mat, part of which had overlapped the other rug, I noticed a two-inch strip of very clean rug underneath.

Gross.

Why do dogs always have to make a mess on the rug when there is plenty of hardwood and tile that they could just barf, poop, or pee on?

It got me thinking about how gross rugs really are and redoubled my desire to rent the professional carpet cleaning machine from the supermarket over Labor Day weekend (what else is there to do on that weekend besides labor...and probably go to a baseball game) -- something I do once a year or so, with my Bissell Spot Bot filling in the rest of the time, as it did last night, and this morning.

Last night's cleanup isn't even dry yet (the fact that it's like 90% humidity doesn't help at all) and I walked right into this morning's mess. More piles of black vomit in the hallway and on the landing Thank God it's not on the rug, I thought, but I hadn't seen it all yet.

There was a nice big spot of barf on the carpet, one on the window seat cushion, a big heap on the dog bed, and the piece de resistance, a long trail of pee all across the living room rug. I didn't think the girl dog had left the bedroom, one of the boy dogs was crated, thus it had to be my "baby," the pit bull, who barfed.

The pee is a quasi-mystery, though.

My baby made himself scarce as I got the cleaning supplies out. He knows whenever he hears the Spot Bot that Mommy is usually unhappy.

It took me the better part of an hour to clean up the mess, the same as it did the night before. In between I sent and answered work emails, muttered, and texted my husband about how gross dogs are, why do we even have carpets, and outlined in detail how glad I was that I hadn't eaten yet because my stomach was heaving and I retched as I wiped up the gelatinous mess of poop-barf from the hardwood floor in the hallway. I told him "on a scale of 1-10 where 1 = not too gross and 10 = severely gross, this was like 11+."

My eyes watered and my stomach twisted and I realized there were black stinky spatters all over the baseboards and door frame. The spot in the landing featured extended drops stuck on the radiator (hopefully I got rid of all those as I wouldn't want to have that scent blasted through our home once heating season begins).

I lit candles. I sprayed the spots with odor eliminator even after they were cleaned. I used sanitizing wipes on my computer and cell phone.

Then I drove my oldest to his sophomore orientation. I ranted the whole way.

"Honestly, why can't dogs just barf outside? Why didn't anyone ask me to let them out? Why eat poop in the first place? Did they forget that they got sick last time? How long is a dog's memory anyway? Do you think dogs are our friends or is it just a relationship based on respect (this came up because he's reading The Life of Pi and I wondered of the boy and the tiger had become friends)? After these dogs, I'm going to be done with dogs. Okay, maybe not all the way done, but maybe I'll want a smaller dog, like a corgi or a Jack Russell terrier." Then I shared my dry-heaving experience with him."Gross, mom. Actually, I'm feeling a little sick thinking about it."

"Gross, mom. Actually, I'm feeling a little sick thinking about it.""Yeah, me, too."

"Yeah, me, too."

Poop-eating dogs

I dropped my son off and got back to my office. The two poop-eaters followed me to my desk and made themselves noticeable, no doubt seeking my approval. The girl dog seems all fine and dandy today, but my baby's stomach is growling and he has bloodshot eyes.

I am sorry they're sick but please-please-please go outside if you're going to throw up. And stop eating poop!

Smoothie under construction

My kids inspired me to figure out how to make photo collages for Instagram. I've also started experimenting with hashtags so I can group my content with other people's on the same subject (usually #smoothie and #healthy)  and learn more about what other people are doing in these areas.

One thing I learned is that Instagram is full of hashtag spam and people blatantly trying to sell things. I just unfollowed an account today for "SkinnyMe" tea because I do not think weight loss with laxatives (which is basically what the herb senna is, and it's the main ingredient in this tea) is cool. I have a box of senna tea in the back of one of the kitchen cabinets, and refer to it as poop tea (used for occasional irregularity, not as a lifestyle choice).

I made this smoothie with no doubt more vegetables and fruits than ever before! It contains kiwi, banana, celery, yam, and parsley that were fresh (the yam was parcooked, even though I got scolded for that by a "green smoothie connoisseur: she told me it doesn't count as a green smoothie if you use cooked ingredients. I thought to myself, BFD, as I unliked her Facebook page) and then I added two freezer mixes, one of fruits (strawberry, pineapple, mango) and one of vegetables (broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots). On top of that I put my supplements: pea protein from Vitacost, and Super Seed and greens from Garden of Life.

I have heard that you should actually use fresh greens, and not the powdered kind (but then the people who advocated for the powdered kind say you'll never be able to eat enough actual greens to get the nutrients in the powder).

I discovered another reason to go with the powdered greens, and that is the fact that they do not get slimy in the bag after three days. Gross! The triple washed greens I bought at Trader Joe's on Saturday has parts that already turned slimy (and clingy), which requires picking them off and then washing the remaining leaves, which is not the end of the world, but is certainly unappealing and with the powdered greens, I don't have to consider that for a moment.

This smoothie turned out delicious and wasn't even all that green looking (meaning I can drink it in front of other people and they're not going to be like, "Ewwww, gross!"

Sugar addiction: my battle

I watched a documentary the other day called "Hungry for Change" about sugar addiction. I was so amazed (and validated) that I had to take notes. It said,

“Sugar is the cocaine of the food world."

• Sugar is a drug, just like alcohol is a drug. You need more and more and more over time to give you the same effect.


• The way that cigarettes are addictive is the way that certain foods are addictive. MSG and free glutamates are in 80% of our food. (IDK what free glutamates are.) MSG obesity induced mice is how scientists make mice fat to study them.


• Mammals are programmed to put on fat when food is available.


• Man made food (sugar, bread, table salt) tricks your body into thinking you’re getting nutrients.


• An indoor lifestyle is another problem.


• Diet cola (aspartame) is addictive and it kills brain cells, and it makes you fat. (Watch out for other sources of fake sweetener, like gum.) (And I still need to learn whether stevia is okay. I get the idea that it is not, but it is in one of the products I use.)


• What is sugar? Avoiding sugar means do not eat anything that converts immediately to sugar either, such as bread, pasta, cereal, rice, potatoes, pancakes, corn, and waffles (most things people eat for breakfast). (I actually paused and reviewed Netflix to make sure I got the list right.)


• It’s not fat that makes you fat. It’s sugar that makes you fat.


• To detox and cleanse your body is not hard. You need to eat foods with gelatinous fiber (aloe, chia seeds) and herbs like parsley and cilantro will help you clean the toxins out. (I'll take parsley; I just don't like cilantro at all.)


• Cleansing = plant foods+ water + sunlight.

I am a sugar addict

I am definitely a sugar addict, which explains the vicious cycle I was on, and I am sure that the coffee addiction fueled the sugar addiction. Though, it could be a chicken and egg thing so I felt it best to cut both of them out.

Now when I get hungry, it doesn't usually take me by surprise, and I don't feel like I am going to crash if I don't eat something sweet immediately (like Lucky Charms out of the box -- gross).

What a relief to be off that roller coaster --

-- if only I can stay off it (updated 1/19/17).

Unlike drug and alcohol addiction, food addiction is something you have to face all day, every day. You do not need drugs and alcohol -- it's pretty much black and white. But food...there's no choice about eating. As I sit here and drink my morning smoothie, I feel really good about how I started off my day.

• Glass of warm water


• Go-cup of water with a greens supplement while I was driving my son to school


• Decaf coffee (with milk, so if I am going to cut out animal products again, I'd replace this with coconut milk. I'm on the fence about this because I do like cheese...)

[bctt tweet="Food and sugar addiction is something you have to face all day, every day. You have no choice about eating." username="carolineposer"]

Last night I went to the gym and the supermarket and it was 8:00 by the time I was on my way home. I knew I was going to be hungry so I got some granola and started eating it out of the box. I continued to eat this somewhat mindlessly while I put the food away, fixed meatball subs for the Bigs (my older two),  and fixed a Caesar salad...for my husband. I realized I wasn't hungry anymore. I ate the rest of the romaine lettuce that wouldn't fit on my husband's plate and called it a night.

Every day is a new day. I start out great but something happens during the course of the day where I slide down that slippery slope and eat something that triggers a bad choice. I don't think granola is hugely bad...it did have 5 grams of protein and 5 grams of fiber -- but 13 grams of sugar. Per serving. God only knows how many servings I had because I was eating out of the box.

Sugar addiction is an ongoing struggle.

 

Portion control

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="2000" caption="Single serving of crackers and cheese"][/caption]

I decided I should start paying attention to portion sizes. I actually counted out the number of crackers in this serving, and I know one little pack of string cheese is a serving.

That doesn't look like much food.

So I decided I should slow down and pay attention to what I am eating. So often I am eating at desk or in the car or otherwise distracted and unappreciative of what I'm eating.



This is approximately a serving of trail mix. I have to measure it out otherwise I'd no doubt eat far more than a serving. I know this for a fact because I've done it so many times before.

You can't out-exercise gluttony, even if you don't intend to be gluttonous. Trail mix is good for you but too much of a good thing is still too much.