Haikus for the homework challenged

My oldest has to write a poem for one of his classes and he has been telling me about this for what seems like weeks, and I think to myself, just do it already! but say to him, "Do you need my help?"

He says he does but then all he can tell me is it has to be at least two stanzas. I'm like, uh huh, but instead I suggest, "why not write two haikus?"

He didn't really like that idea. I said, "Well, write four then!"

"Mah-ahm! I just don't really want to write haikus..."

What is it against haikus? I remember one time about a year ago when my middle son had to write a haiku or two and he flipped out about it. He just couldn't bring himself to do it and tortured himself (and me) for days and when the final hour came, when he couldn't put it off anymore, I had to leave the room. I told him, "I'll be happy to help you when you quit yelling at me," and stalked away -- far, far away. He was being a wretch.

Later, when I returned, he was morose. As soon as he had an audience, he began his, "This-is-stupid-I'm-stupid-I-can't-do-this routine.

"Sure you can. Let me write a couple to get you started."

Homework can be hard

Only when you think it is

Attitude is key.

If you think you’re smart

Your vision becomes real and

“Smart” becomes your truth.

You are very smart

You must believe it is so

And you will succeed.

I don't think he was amused.


My oldest's poem is due on Tuesday, the same day he starts MCAS. Maybe I'll suggest my oldest write a limerick...