I originally published this story during our last presidential election (in 2012). It has been on my mind because four years later, nothing has changed – well, except maybe the insulting terms I'm seeing on social media. Now in addition to "liar,"liar,” “idiot,” “loser,” “fool," we have "criminal" and "sociopath." It has become even worse after the inauguration. Just stop name-calling, people!What are we teaching our kids? I'm trying to teach mine to learn how to love and forget how to hate. Like Ozzy Osbourne!
Crazy Train
Crazy, but that’s how it goes
Millions of people living as foes
Maybe it’s not too late
To learn how to love
And forget how to hate.
I printed out the lyrics to Ozzy Osborne’s “Crazy Train.” I figured if my kids are going to shout this song in the car at the tops of their lungs, they should at least know the words. They initially heard the song from the TV commercial for a Honda Pilot, which is what we drive, thus considerable shouting occurs when we’re in transit.Actually having lyrics in hand, my middle son decided to download the song on his iPod, during which he obtained a picture of Ozzy to go with it.
“Wow, Mom, is that really Ozzy Osbourne? He looks kinda scary. Is it really him singing the song?”
“Let me see. Yep. You know that song’s like, from the ’80s, right?
“Uh huh, so? He actually has a really good voice…”
“Yeah, he sure does. You can’t judge an album by its cover.”
“What’s an album?”
Social media unleashes the haters
I caught myself humming the song a few times and it got me thinking about a couple of things. First, what’s up with all the haters who have emerged as we approach our next presidential election? I don’t even watch the news and only get two weekly newspapers, but with the omnipresence of social media, I’ve been assaulted with terms like “liar,” “idiot,” “loser,” “fool,” “bully,” “out of touch,” “moron,” “stupid,” “deception,” “omission,” “narcissism,” “sucks,” “hates,” “fears,” and “distorts.” The same words are used by every group against each other – millions of people, living as foes. Can’t people disagree respectfully: stay calm, not take things personally, criticize ideas, but not each other?Come to think of it, this language is prevalent in religious conflicts, sporting events, or anytime people have a difference of opinion – even with things like dog breeds. Personally, I would be much more receptive to someone’s ideas if they were presented on their own merit and not simply as the assumed opposite of anything used to tear down the opposing view. Crazy, but that’s how it goes.
Some conflict is necessary
Second, the song reminds me of a question my youngest asked on the way home from camp during a break from “all aboard,” “ha ha ha ha” and “ay ay ay”: “What if Adam and Eve never ate the fruit from the tree?” Though the boys go to a Christian camp right here in town, the story about the tree in the Garden of Eden is common to many religions, including Judaism and Islam.
“I guess we’d all be walking around naked, for one thing…”
“What!” His older brothers perked up, one of them pulling his earbuds out.
“Well, we’d be naked, but we wouldn’t realize it. Naked would be the norm.”
“Mom!”
“Seriously, boys. The fruit was from the tree of knowledge, right? So once they ate it, they became aware of things.”
“Oh, yeah…we heard about that part during message time.”
“And also, I guess everyone would get along with each other…there would be no conflict…uhm, competition. Hmmm,” I continued, thinking aloud, “I’m not sure how that would work. If there were no competition, how could there be any businesses…never mind that, what about sports?”
“Whaddaya mean?”
“Well, how could there be a football game without competition? Someone has to win and someone has to lose. “
“Duh.”
“And no one’s gonna say, ‘be my guest, go right ahead and score that touchdown’…”
“Duh! That would be so stupid!”
“I know, right? But it can be friendly competition: no trash talk.”
“Sometimes there is, Mom.”
“Well, I know there is, but I also know your coaches don’t encourage it. I know they teach you to compete respectfully. Stay calm. Don’t take things personally, and don’t criticize the other team. No name-calling.”
“Duh, mom.”
“Don’t ‘duh’ me, honey. Not everyone in this world gets it. Sometimes it’s hard to remember in the heat of the moment. That’s why we have terms like ‘poor sport’ and ‘sore loser.’ ”
Maybe it’s not too late to learn how to love and forget how to hate.
What do you think: Can you disagree without insulting someone personally?
Have any of your friendships been damaged because of politics?
brilliant!
ReplyDeleteThank you -- please feel free to share. I really feel strongly about how people need to remember to disagree respectfully. I have two teacher friends that are planning to use this piece in their classrooms.
ReplyDeleteThese are words to the wise. I fear we have lost respect for one another. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteReminds me of this quote:
ReplyDelete“America still sees itself as essential and as destiny’s instrument. And each splinter group within our culture—left, right, conservative, liberal, religious, secular—sees itself as morally, even “theologically,” superior to its rivals. It is not just about politics. It is about being better than one’s evil opponent. We don’t just disagree, we demonize the “other.” And we don’t compromise.”
― Frank Schaeffer, Crazy for God
Somehow we have to figure out how to disagree respectfully, humbly and compassionately.
This quote sums it up EXACTLY! It's perfect. I agree that we need to disagree without acting superior or demoralizing others. How do people get this way? It's all over my Facebook feed (and I have started unfollowing people!)
ReplyDeleteYour article brings the following poem to mind:
ReplyDeleteTo Create An Enemy
by Sam Keen
Start with an empty canvas
Sketch in broad outline the forms of
men, women, and children.
Dip into the well of your own
disowned darkness
with a wide brush and
stain the strangers with the sinister hue
of the shadow.
Trace onto the face of the enemy the greed,
hatred, carelessness you dare not claim as
your own.
Obscure the sweet individuality of each face.
Erase all hints of the myriad loves, hopes,
fears that play through the kaleidoscope of
every finite heart.
Twist the smile until it forms the downward
arc of cruelty.
Strip flesh from bone until only the
abstract skeleton of death remains.
Exaggerate each feature until man is
metamorphasized into beast, vermin, insect.
Fill in the background with malignant
figures from ancient nightmares - devils
demons, myrmidons of evil.
When your icon of the enemy is complete
you will be able to kill without guilt,
slaughter without shame.
The thing you destroy will have become
merely an enemy of G-D, an impediment
to the sacred dialectic of history.
WOW! This part: "Trace onto the face of the enemy the greed, hatred, carelessness you dare not claim as your own."
ReplyDeleteMy mother always used to say that the things that bothered us about other people were related to things about ourselves we didn't like or hadn't accepted.
This whole poem is profound. Thank you!
Great Post! I like the engaging narrative and simplicity in which you convey this profound subject. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Anna. :-)
ReplyDelete