Playing sports helps my kids burn off steam, stay fit, figure out how to get along with others, and learn so many other interpersonal and social lessons.Today I wanted to comment on sportsmanship.
No one likes to lose, but someone has to.
The winners need to learn that it's unsportsmanlike to gloat, taunt, or rub it in.
The losers need to learn that they themselves are not losers, they just lost a game. There will be another game another day. There's no point in complaining how unfair it is, how the refs are blind, or the other team cheated.
It's easy to demonstrate good sportsmanship when you're winning.
It's not as easy when you're losing.
Sometimes, when my hockey player's team is losing, the kids lose their tempers. They start playing aggressively as opposed to skillfully. This often results in penalties, which only exacerbates the losing trend. My hockey player spent a good amount of time in the penalty box last year. This year, so far, not so much.
In the picture above, my son and his teammate are fist-bumping the second referee. Hardly anyone ever fist bumps the second referee (some don't even fist bump the first if he doesn't get in or stand near the line) because he's usually somewhere out of the way. In the picture above, their team had just been embarrassingly beaten. The scoreboard shows 7-1. In hockey, that's pretty bad. And that is just when the scorekeeper stopped keeping score. The score was actually run up a bit more. But my son and his teammate demonstrated sportsmanship and thanked both refs anyway.
Even more important to me than whether my son's team won or lost is if he thanked the refs. It is an important way for him to learn to respect authority. Even if he does not agree with that authority, he needs to be respectful. Even if he does not want to be friends with another player, he still needs to be friendly. You don't have to agree with or like everyone, but you do have to be polite.
You win some you lose some.
One final note: I don't believe in participation trophies for kids older than five or six. That's just not the way the real world works. One of my all-time proudest moments was a couple of baseball seasons ago when one of my sons gave a game ball he'd just been awarded to another kid who was clearly upset that he didn't get the game ball.
My son told me, "my prize is on the inside. I know I played a good game."
Great post! I just wrote an entry for my blog (which I haven't posted yet) about how I have three boys, and none of them are sporty! While sometimes I wish they were, the important thing is that they learn how to treat people well in good or tough situations, just like you capture. I love your son's comment at the end!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! There are certainly many different forums for teaching life lessons. I can't wait to read your post, too! So glad to connect with another mom of boys! :-)
ReplyDeleteThis is such an important lesson to be taught, truly. Kids these days are mostly taught to chase and win, not to accept whatever result comes out which often leads to wrong behavior, depression and anger issues. I am not a mom yet, but I have younger siblings and a niece and I make sure to teach them to accept their loss whenever we play among ourselves. Great post, thanks Caroline!
ReplyDeletexoxo
Radhika
Expressing Life
Thank you, Radhika. I think what kids learn in sports can help with life in general. :-)
ReplyDeleteCompletely agree with you! I played sports when I was a kid and I loved it and think it was so good for me x
ReplyDeleteGood sportsmanship is such a great things for children to learn. It is one thing that we have instilled in both my children.
ReplyDeleteGood to hear. I think it will help our kids grow up to be mature adults who can handle whatever life throws at them!
ReplyDeleteMe, too. I imagine that is why I have always offered my kids opportunities to play sports as well!
ReplyDeleteI can remember being in primary school and losing in sporting tournaments. It was very, very hard to be a good sport. Some days you didn't want to shake their hands at the end of the match, but it was a good learning curve. Sports are good for development on so many levels :)
ReplyDeleteYes! It is definitely hard when you're a kid, but a lesson we all need to learn in order to deal with life on life's terms! Thanks for your insight! :-)
ReplyDelete[…] yet, “Join a sport.” Cross country would be the one with the lowest barrier to entry. (I can’t say enough about sports as a way to build self-confidence, be part of a team, and get out of the house.) I can already […]
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