"You don’t want it to end because the day it does, you’re underground,” is more wisdom from my mechanic (and former neighbor).
I was explaining why I was making the executive decision to go ahead and have some work done on my son's car (including a new starter) now rather than “roll the dice” and wait a year or two.
My son, aged
20, just embarked on his trip back to college, 1200 miles away, with his
youngest brother.
My older two
made the trip together last year and shared the driving. This year, my youngest
will make the trip to keep his brother company.
Because of
the travel restrictions and COVID testing required both for my oldest to go to
school and for anyone traveling back to our home state, things are complicated.
My middle son can’t afford the time away or a possible two-week quarantine upon
his return. He could get a COVID test, but by time it takes schedule it and then
get the results, could be almost as long as the quarantine.
My mechanic
said that the starter might last a year, but then again, “you wouldn’t want it
to give out when they’re halfway to Florida.”
And that was
when all the mothering kicked in and I said, “I know he’s 20, but I’m still his
mom and I can’t help but worry with the pandemic at all…”
I’m not only
worried about my son making the drive (his original plan was to drive straight
through, but now he’s got a stop planned), but I’m also worried about him
living off campus in an apartment with two grad students. (Will he get his
housing grant back when he returns to campus next year, which is a requirement
of his school, which was only relaxed this year because of the pandemic?). I worry
that COVID-19 will continue to run rampant in Florida. (What if he gets sick?)
I worry that his school will shut down again, which also means he’ll be out of
a job since he works on campus. (I already worry enough about financial matters
with two kids in college.)
Then I also
worry about my youngest, a rising sophomore, hanging around with much older
people for a week. (I’m not so worried about him flying back since I was able
to secure a direct flight.) Then he’ll have to either quarantine or get a COVID
test, which doesn’t seem to be that easy or affordable. If I am not careful, my
worrying snowballs until I feel like I am buried under an avalanche of it. I
have never worried so much in my life or had so much anxiety to the point of
breathing difficulties. My fitness tracker notifies me frequently that I am
stressed and asks, “Breathe with me?”
…I happen to
know that my mechanic’s mom is still very much involved with his day-to-day
life: she is responsible for the décor in the front office of his shop. She has
a candy dish and seasonal decorations and arranges the magazines artfully in
the waiting area. She does his bookkeeping.
I pointed
this out to him. “I guess you’re right, given how involved your mom is with
everything here…”
He said, “Yep,
that’s how I know!”
Mothering
apparently doesn’t end just because your kids have grown up.
I imagine I will
be mothering my kids in some way until the day I die, and maybe even beyond. Much
of my mother’s wisdom and guidance still guides me, though she passed away more
than a decade ago.
